An uncertain future
Szilvia and
I started to realize our dreams together in 2017. A Tinder encounter with an
uncertain future. A new place, a new country, a new direction to discover for
ourselves and for each other. Our individual and common aspirations.
Szil's aspirations
Szilvia
came to Malta because she no longer felt well in Hungary. Szil's aspirations
were to set up a coaching company and build a network around it. She also had
aspirations to start a Bed and Breakfast to generate income and use the
accommodations for her coaching clients.
Furthermore,
Szil wanted to travel and be in different countries during certain periods.
My aspirations
I came to
Malta to dismantle myself from obligations. My aspirations were to do less,
enjoy independence more. Peace and quiet. Don't have to, just want to.
I had no
concrete ideas about what I wanted to do yet. That only gradually took shape. I
wanted to write, compose music, take pictures. I also wanted to meet people and
have interesting conversations with them.
I wanted a
safe income in any case, so I joined Szil's idea of Bed and Breakfast.
Warm Home Malta
Our Bed and Breakfast
adventure
So in 2017
we started our Bed and Breakfast adventure at the same time and called our new
company Warm Home Malta. We wanted to provide a pleasant stay for our guests. A
warm welcome and a warm stay.
Together we
built up our company in approximately one year. A lot of work, but we were both
enthusiastic and enjoyed working on it.
To expand
Already in
the course of the second year (2018), Szil thought about expanding the number
of accommodations. In 2019 she started adding new accommodations. I actually
didn't want that. After all, I had come to Malta to work less and ultimately no
longer work at all. My idea was therefore more to keep it small-scale. One or
two apartments for rent and a private place to live. That way there was little
work and we didn't have to find a paid job to make ends meet. In the beginning
our ideas matched, but then things started to squeeze.
Because
believe me, running a Bed and Breakfast is labor intensive anyway and increases
exponentially when accommodations are added.
Early retirement
We had to
decide how to proceed. Ultimately, the decisive factor was that I had the
option to opt for early retirement. That way I could get out of Warm Home Malta
and Szil could continue with the expansions she wanted.
New situation
In this way
a new situation arose. Szil started working more and I started working less.
Szil was able to live on the income from Warm Home Malta and I was able to live
on my early retirement.
In the new
situation I kept myself available as a consultant and for some help with small
maintenance. I still do this and want to continue to do so.
Different perspectives
Because of
this change, Szil and I suddenly had different perspectives.
For Szil
She spent a
lot of time expanding Warm Home Malta. For Szil, it meant that practically all
of her energy went into it. Partly because of this, there was hardly any time
left for her to work on her coaching dream.
Her first
year running Warm Home Malta alone (2019) was successful. In her second year
(2020) came Corona. This was and is a loss. All tourism came to a halt.
This had
the following mutually resulting consequences:
- Most of the
accommodations were rented out for a longer term to expats and others living in
Malta for a longer term. In this
way the damage could be limited.
- As it was
still unknown what the consequences of Corona would be next year, the question
arose whether Szil wanted to continue with Warm Home Malta in 2021 and if so,
how. Maybe in a slimmed-down form?
Would tourism be back as before? We thought that the second year would be bad
again.
- As her
accommodations were now largely long-term let, she spent much less time running
Warm Home Malta and thus had much more time to work on her coaching dream. That dream is unfolding right now and is really
very hopeful.
- If income
comes from the coaching dream, there is for one way less reason to continue
with Warm Home Malta and on the other hand less time to do so.
For
me
Because I was no longer involved with Warm Home Malta, I suddenly had a lot
more time. Sometimes ten more hours a day. I didn't know what to do with all
that extra time. I actually wanted to write about my past, my plans. I wanted
to meet people and experience beautiful moments with them. Elaborate deep
conversations and interesting encounters in columns, stories, poetry and
publish them in a personal blog. A fantastic perspective, but it took a lot of
effort to start it.
When I finally, after several months of doing nothing, took the plunge and
started creating a personal blog, that blog was hacked after about 3 months and
everything was gone. That didn't really help in realizing my already so laborious project.
In the end I started all over again and finally got up to speed with
creating my personal blog, which you are now reading.
I have now also realized that although I want to keep Malta as my home
base, I do not want to be there forever. I need more space. I want to be by the
sea, but I am aware that I miss the mountains, the forests and the lakes.
Finding a place in a country that can facilitate that combination is my
challenge for my future.
Not current yet, but I know it will come.
Consequences
for our future
Due to our different perspectives, there are two consequences for our
future that we will have to deal with in the long term.
To
travel
Because the success of Szil's coaching aspirations is plausible and partly
because this may result in Warm Home Malta becoming smaller, or even being
discontinued in the long term, there is room in Szil to find more concrete
interpretation of the way in which she wants to experience her travel
aspirations. She wants to be at different locations during different periods in
a given year. Maybe even in four different locations. Which means traveling
every time.
Through my perspective I have discovered that I no longer like to travel. I
am very happy with a permanent place to live. Everything arranged in one fixed
place. Finally a place where I can be and where I can do what I'm doing now.
Not having to leave. Just be there!
I can imagine going to another place in the world once a year for a period
of two or three months. Another permanent place, where the things I need are
present and where important formalities are all arranged.
Living
Due to our different travel aspirations, the situation will arise in which
we are / live for a period at different addresses and even in different
countries. This has consequences for our housing costs, which we now share and
would otherwise bear alone. With my mini, minimum income in combination with
the hefty rental prices of Malta, this can lead to the situation that there is
no affordable accommodation with sufficient privacy in Malta for me.
Our
common aspirations
I feel love and doubt. I feel proximity and distance. I see opportunities
and risks. All conceivable contradictions can exist as far as I am concerned.
We envision a future. For ourselves and for us together. Our personal aspirations
are growing apart. What we have in common strengthens our personal aspirations.
What we have in common.
- We have a
similar childhood. Not literally, of course, but comparable in terms of content
and emotion. We were on our own and we got out of every conceivable situation
without too much damage. We learned a treasure through our struggle against
wanting and being allowed to be different.
- We motivate
each other in achieving our dreams.
- We both have
the same specific wishes to experience ourselves in a relationship and those
wishes differ from how traditional relationships manifest themselves.
- We
strengthen each other in developing some of our personal qualities.
- We have a
lot of power to exchange from life experience and can quickly analyze
situations of individuals or groups and attach advice to them. However, I do
not elevate those analyzes to truth, but to an opinion. The accompanying advice
are personal interpretations that I do not experience as the truth.
What we have in common is becoming increasingly important. We build our
personal aspirations with the support of the strength we derived from what each
of us lived through as we grew into adulthood.
So despite diverging perspectives, desires and interests, Szil and I remain
able to stay together and grow together with and towards each other, now and in
the future.
I believe it is love.
© TrefMij August 2020
Thanks my Darling. It was nice to read about ours in a nutshell. :) And I am curious how it goes. Sure we will deal with it. <3
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