01 July 2020

Somertime - freedom

What day it is today

The Netherlands. Beautiful country on the North sea . People happily sail their best course. It's summer again. Warm, sunny days. Longing for vacation. Enjoy not having 

to do anything in this period. Not to have to. 

Waking up and wondering what day it is today? And especially the sensation of realizing that it really doesn't matter at all.

feeling free

We love that feeling of freedom, but how free we really are? What does being free mean? Is it just doing things that we want? Or is it the joy of not having to do what you should do every day? Of course we all want both things. Me too. But I think really being free is about something else.

I develop my freedom by discovering my moral limits. Every limit I find means making one or more choices. Fair and sincere choices with my conscience as the referee. That process will never finish. The clearer my boundaries, the stronger my freedom. Living in freedom means limiting what you want for yourself and what you want to give or share with others.

Should or want to

Acquiring freedom is a lifelong process in which the boundaries of what you want and don't want become increasingly clear. Making authentic choices. No longer do what others do, either because others think you are obligated to, or because it is supposedly “Normal”.

It is not a simple process, but what helps is to stop using the verb “Must”. Instead, use only the verbs: want and like. So not: "I have to work", but "I want to be allowed to work". Not, "I have to be on time," but I want to be on time. " Then you discover that it is al about choices.

I want to explain it with a practical example from my life.


I also love summer and the sea. However, the Dutch climate is too wet and too cold for me. Summer is also too short. That's why I wanted to live somewhere on the Mediterranean.
But shouldn't I decide to stay in the Netherlands? After all, there was the care for my mother and would I see my three children and two grandchildren enough and would they? I doubted deeply, deeply and postponed it for ten to fifteen years. My mother sometimes hesitated when I asked her what she thought of my wish, but she still thought it was okay. Follow your heart, she said, I understand. 

Those were probably the moments when her conscience spoke? When her referee made a choice.

Finding freedom

And what about you? Are you really doing what you want? It is summer and warm. It is vacation so you have plenty of summer time. Time to find your freedom. This is the best time to face your situation and see what you are doing and which of those things you are doing because you really want them and what you are doing what you actually don't want to. In that case I would say, change that!

Freedom develops

I wanted to emigrate and now I literally live in the middle of the Mediterranean. I occasionally travel to the Netherlands and my children come to me.

My freedom develops and tomorrow …… then I wake up and probably don't know what day of the week it is. And you know why? Just because I don't want to know.

© Trefmij July 2020

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